I really don’t even know where to begin except to say this: if I didn’t have a testimony before, I have a rock solid one now.
I think that Psalm 139 does a better job of putting into words the feelings and thoughts and experiences I’ve had today that I simply do not have words to convey.
1 O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
I will try very hard though.
A very very important person in my life recently told me that after my patriarchal blessing I will be able to say, “that’s me!” Well, yes. Yes. Yes. Today was unbelievable. I had big questions. I prayed so hard leading up to this and really just searched as hard as I could for these questions. I wanted so hard for these questions to be answered. THESE SPECIFIC questions. And He answered them in ways I couldn’t imagine ever receiving an answer. The only thing I can say right now is how so very solidly I know how aware of me He is. To have even a glimpse of the woman he wants me to become would be motivation enough to live my life to become her… today I was given such a clear picture of the person He sees in me and I know that my life must be spent working to become her.
The H and J families came with me for my blessing and I’m so grateful they did. I needed them there. After my blessing, we just sat in the room crying for a few minutes. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I was so emotionally and mentally exhausted in such a supreme and wonderful way that all I could do was to just sit there and cry.
Do you want to know how I know that this was… so so so so true? The patriarch and I talked a few weeks ago, and the only thing he knew about me was that the Js and Hs would be coming with me. That’s it. The things he said in my blessing were so personal and so specific and so EXACTLY ME that the only way I could respond was with snot filled tears knowing so hard how much our Heavenly Father knows and loves me. So exactly me, in fact, that when we got in the car, Sister H looked at me and said, “You just got served.”
I spent the rest of the day with both families. After dinner, we watched the first Harry Potter and then Sister H and I sat outside on her porch and talked about everything that happened today. I’m still trying to process what I learned today.
When I was ready to leave, I just stood at my car for a second. The sky was so clear and the moon was so bright. And then I saw a shooting star and I knew that this day, where I was, and who I was, was exactly how He intended.
With so much love,
The Lady Mo