Do you ever feel like life is moving so fast that you have to stop, put your feet down, get your balance, and reassess? This is one of those times.
I’ve been planning a move back to Massachusetts for about three weeks. I’ve been miserable in Utah (I’m ready for a slice of “I Told You So” pie from many of my readers and family members) and I was given the opportunity to go back to Boston and start over. I’ll tell that whole story later, but the bottom line is I need my feet on solid ground. It’s been a while.
So back to Boston we go, Toto.
The original plan, as of three weeks ago, was to drive across the country with my best friend (BWT for you, TJ) after MoBoy and MoGirl’s wedding. It was to be a bonding experience of American proportion. That plan was drastically changed when on Sunday I landed myself in the ER. Sunday at church, I was in the middle of a conversation with a boy who has been very kind to me while in Utah when I felt the familiar pains of “AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH MY OVARIES ARE EXPLODING!” And then I was on the ground.
After a few rounds of morphine and a bunch of ultrasounds, the doctor came in to tell me I have a monster growing on my left ovary. Teeth, hair, skin, and a personality. The doctor said that the only way they could remove it was if it twisted my ovary, was cancerous, or got *this* big (it was a centimeter off). I would need to see a specialist for more tests, yadda yadda.
This is all fine and good except for the following aggravating factors:
1) I’m turning 26 in 10 days and will no longer be covered by my parent’s insurance.
2) I was moving to Massachusetts in 21 days and it would be challenging to start evaluations here to have them finished in Massachusetts.
3) I’m a flobbity gillion miles away from home and my parents feel useless when I have a headache, let alone have an alien growing inside of me.
Seeing as I would have this monster on board for longer than I’d like, I named him Franklin.
Yesterday, (Friday) I woke up to emails and Facebook messages from mom, Auntie Andrea, sister Andrea, and TJ all telling me to pack my bags because I’m flying home tomorrow (today). My life felt turned upside down when I decided to move back to Massachusetts and I was just starting to regain my balance. Waking up to this flipped it all around again and life became swirly. High on pain meds, I packed up my life into my car (it didn’t take terribly long as I really haven’t unpacked since moving from Kansas), packed two bags for the trip home and made arrangements as quickly as possible.
In the middle of this swirl, TJ asked me how I was doing.
Brittany: I don’t know what’s up or down right now.
TJ: Look at your feet, that is most likely down. Look at me, that’s up.
I know you’re not nearly as mushy gushy as I am, Teejal, but your words were so sweet, and I thank you.
I’m grateful for the people who are making it possible for me to come home, and for finding the right doctors to take care of me. I’m in unimaginable pain right now, but it’s easier knowing I have friends and family who drop everything, stalk each other on Facebook, and collaborate to take care of me and are better friends to me than I could ever deserve.
I’m sad that I won’t be able to say goodbye to people in Utah. I came here with old friends and made some new ones along the way. Please forgive me for not finding you for a proper goodbye. I’ll miss you terribly and I hope to see you on the East Coast!
So, for a quick update: My life is now planned as far as Wednesday. I won’t think any further than that, and when *all of this* is taken care of and Franklin is properly evicted, I can put my feet back down and reassess. For now, I have an appointment on Monday and will likely have surgery on Wednesday. I’ll ask Momsie or Popsicle to update here, or I’ll do it high as a kite and see what words make their way to page. That could actually be quite interesting.
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for your prayers. And thank you for loving me.
So much love,
ps – if you’re feeling particularly brave, go ahead and google image search “dermoid ovarian tumor.” I dare ya.